omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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