2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
