oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I wish you could order shots online.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
