I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
