Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
