Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
