Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
