...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
