just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
