You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize