I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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