i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
