are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
