I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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