Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
So. Much. Porn.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
