I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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