Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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