I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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