Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I think I am morally bankrupt
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
