Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
