Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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