I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
