was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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