One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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