I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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