I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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