I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize