y did u give ur computer a hand job?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
