found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
