I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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