don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
