She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
