and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
