it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I don't deserve a penis
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
