My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Randomize
