So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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