One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I look better un-naked...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
