The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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