Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
