everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize