ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
