Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
