Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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