Having a random hookup so left but love u
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
