fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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