Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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