the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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