if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize