Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
babies were throwing up all over the place
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
