this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I need moral support for this bender
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
