hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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