omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
