What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
it's like heaven, but drunker
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
