actually, I'm a sock model
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
