Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
