And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
