Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
