Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
