apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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