OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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