I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
