Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
