I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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