Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Let's paint friendship bongs
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I'm really busy with my period
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